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Know-it-all Nancy and the Night Gnome

by Jason Pruett

Everyday Nancy Norton jumped out of her bed
And gobbled down slices of untoasted bread.
Then she got to work reading, searching to learn
Things she didn’t know. Then she’d manage to worm
Into everyone’s life and she’d tell them they’re wrong.
“Well, actually” she’d start out, and she’d keep going strong,

“I know more about this than anyone else
No one knows more about this than myself.”
Then she’d explain why they’re wrong and she’s right
And she’d walk away, gloating with all of her might.
She’d walk away gloating – and then she’d start dancing.
That’s why no one could stand little “Know-it-all” Nancy.

“Nancy,” the town said, “will you just go away?
We can’t stand you correcting us day after day”
They told her to stop. They told her it’s rude.
They glued her mouth shut, but it wouldn’t stay glued.
But Nancy just told them the glue was all wrong.
“Duct tape” she said, “would have been twice as strong.”

All the town’s people wondered what could be done
About this little girl and her quick little tongue.
They sat and they wondered and pondered for months
On how to make Know-it-all Nancy feel stumped.
“We need something new, we need a new twist.
We need to get something that doesn’t exist!

Then she won’t go around telling us we’re not right!”
So they went to work building, night after night –
A camel with three humps, a jackalope, too,
A ghost in a hollowed out, rusty canoe.
Whatever the people would build, she’d see through it.
They were all hoaxes and fakes and she knew it.

Then one day in the streets, the people all swarmed.
They said, “Would you look – it’s a real unicorn!”
Nancy went for a look and she said, “People, stop!
It’s only a horse with a horn strapped on top!
You should know it’s a fake just by taking a glance!”
Then Nancy turned and she started to dance.

She pranced down the street, spinning two pirouettes
And, of course, the town’s people were all quite upset.
Old Jake said, “Dang that know-it-all bother!
I’d say ‘banish the child,’ if I weren’t her father.”
Then as he got up to hobble on home,
He tripped over an ill-placed, small garden gnome.

Old Jake fell over, flat on his face.
“You should watch where you’re going when you’re moving with haste”
The little gnome said, - it had talked! It was real!
(You see, gnomes are all magic, so it’s a big deal)
“Little gnome,” Old Jake said, “We’re a people in need!”
“Let’s talk gold.” Said the gnome (gnomes are known for their greed).

“We don’t have much gold, but our problem is small –
She’s a smug dancing brat, she’s a dang know-it-all”
“So,” said the gnome, “from what I can hear . . .
you want this little problem to . . . disappear.”
“No!” said the town, “We just want her to stop.”
“Hmm” said the gnome, “How much gold have you got?”

Know-it-all Nancy awoke the next night,
When her lamp was turned on (you see, it was so bright).
She saw a wee man staring her in the eyes.
She screamed and she shrieked and she jumped in surprise.
“Shhh” said the gnome, and Nancy’s voice went away.
“Pay attention, now child, I’ve got something to say.

“I’m a magic night gnome and I've taken your voice,
but I’ll give it right back, if you make the right choice.
See, the town’s people are sick of your know-it-all ways.
Give them up or be dumb for the rest of your days.”
“But I’m smart and they’re not,” Nancy wrote in defense.
“Let me guess,” said the gnome, “you don’t have many friends”

She didn’t have any, Nancy had to admit.
“But I like feeling smart and I don’t want to quit.”
“You don’t have to make others feel dumb to feel smart.
You can have a big brain as well as a heart.
You can help others with facts you’ve compiled
Then you won’t leave your father wishing he’d had no child”

The gnome left Nancy distraught and awake.
The next day she went to her father, Old Jake.
“Dad,” Nancy started, “Do you think I’m a thorn?
Am I such a pest that you wish I weren’t born?”
“Nancy,” Old Jake said, “I’ll love you forever,
Even if you drive you us all crazy thinking you’re being clever”

Nancy asked “How do I know when I’m being a pest?”
“It depends on the person,” Old Jake confessed.
“You can read books, but reading people is harder.”
Then Nancy admitted she wished she were smarter
And as she watched the whole town get along,
She decided they weren’t dumb, and she had been wrong..

She was never (well, hardly ever) a know-it-all ever again
And the town’s people and Nancy finally became friends.